The Positive Internet - Inspirational or just another reason to feel bad about ourselves?

May 3, 2017
5 min read

In this day and age more than ever we are bombarded with words of wisdom, images of people making it big, looking 20 in the 70s, getting fit, finding the perfect partner, ascending spiritually and the list goes on.

We subscribe, like and surround ourselves with these people on social media in an attempt to become better ourselves. You are who you have around you, right?

Well there is a real danger lurking in this vast ocean of positive meme's quotes and images. The tendency to compare can have us exhausted and all but inspired by all this postitivity. I mean we look at the quotes and the people making it, we try to follow what they preach and we try try try our hardest to elevate. But then comes the weekend. We are still eating fast food, we still drinking hard, we still argue with our spouse and still can't help wanting revenge on that person who did us wrong in 3rd grade. And we feel terrible about it because we should know better. Look at so and so on Instagram. they managed to turn their life around. It's only 21-days why do find it so darned hard to do? There must be something wrong with me, everyone else seems to get it right, why can't I?

Well first of all you know everyone doesn't have it straight. Secondly let's get this one thing understood. The information on social media is selective. The inspirational quotes and images are there to give you something to aim for. Not guilt you in to feeling like a wasted piece of space because you are not doing what is says on the latest possitivity meme. Although there are some pages that seem to make it their business to guilt trip us. And they are many hiding under the guise of positivity quotes. All I can say to that is delete, delete, delete.

And that is my first piece of advice. Go through your feed and get rid of anything that does not give you a real positive feeling. Anything that makes you feel guilty for not achieving and anyone who's posts you make you feel inferior. Obviously, if you feel jealous of that one person in your feed stop following them. Or just mute them for a while.

Good, now that you stopped bombarding your mind with things that make you feel bad, parading as positivism, let's talk about how to really start making a change and becoming inspired by social media rather than depressed. And how to really start feeling better in general.

First of all you must accept that you are unique. Your situation is unique and your challenges are unique.

Second remember change does not happen over night. It is a process that takes time, many rounds or falling and getting back up, and most of all patience.

Finally, always always always remember it is consistency not once off occurrences that determine if you have passed or failed. Lets say you are starting a new diet. You're doing excellent for 7, 10, even 20 days and then BOM! you fall back. Buy all the snacks and burgers and ice cream eat your heart out for a day or two. This does not equal failure. Many of us just give up at that point and say - Heck I can't do this look at me. FAILURE.

But there is another healthier happier way to look at it. You see you ate healthy for all those days and you slacked for 1 or 2 days. Your body is loving you for those good days and your heart and mind is loving you for slopping out. Now what you should do is enjoy the 2 days of slipping and then just go back to doing good again for as many days as you can. Over time the good stuff will become habit and you can have the best of two worlds. In the end you are healthier than you were when you didn't eat healthy any day of the week. You are actually a WINNER!

Another thing to remember is - instead of eliminating all those bad habits all at once. Just introduce a good one every month or so. In the end there is only 24h is a day - so eventually you will have accumulated enough good habits to kick those bad habits to the curb for lack of time in the day.

Finally when it comes to comparing yourself to other people who just seem smarter, more beautiful and well put together, loved, supported and popular and always seem to look immaculate on every photo. Think about why you love and follow them. It is not because they are identical to that other person you follow who seem to also have it all together. You love and adore them because they are them. And that is where you must start.

Find out who you are, and I mean who you really are. That person you are when you forget someone is watching, when you feel the safest with your inner circle of confidants. That person is who you must learn to love. Once you find that person what ever you add to him/her, a better body, nicer hair, good make up, more knowledge, a brighter spirit etc etc are just extra bonuses.

When you find him/her and love him/her unconditionally then you become that person you so desperately wanted to be. The one that people look at and say WOW they have it together. What an inspiration! But better still, you are able to look at other people and go WOW what an inspiration they are without feeling any sort of guilt or envy. Because you know they can have it all and so can you. And because you both do the world is a little better. It's an win win for all.

So if your positive feed is actually exhausting you, do some spring cleaning on that thing!

Spend some time with the people and things that really make you happy. Find that happiness, add one new good habit this summer and start building a healthier existence at your own pace.

And if you fall back, once you recognize it, just get back to the good habit again, until it becomes second nature.

Most of all learn to love you and be proud of your achievements, not as a comparison to other people, or wise Buddhas but in comparison to who you were yesterday or two weeks ago or even two years ago. You got this!

And if this posts advice stresses you out too. Just let it go and move on - you are still good enough as you are. :-)

Thanks for reading. Much love and abundance

*Nia Love*